Confusion
by Matchin' Laces
Summary: Christmas is only a week away and BB can't think of what to buy Raven. Obvious BBRae pairing. The Alternate Ending is up!
1. Default Chapter

Notes: Hey, this is Matchin' Laces. This is BBRae. So, if you don't like the BBRae pairing, what are you still reading this for? I'm a strong fan of the pairing. Oh and by the way, this is dedicated to my boyfriend, who reminds me of BB. LOL, and I remind him of Raven.

I have to get her something good this year, Beast Boy thought to himself as he walked down the empty hallway. He stopped when he reached a familiar doorway, the name 'Raven' proclaimed on the front. What could he possibly get her?

Well, obviously, anything pink would be a bad idea. So he needed something dark and depressing. Hmmm, that wasn't really his thing. Also, it probably couldn't be anything cute and cuddly. She didn't seem the type to go crazy over that type of thing.

"This is way too hard," BB muttered out loud.

"What is," a voice asked, startling the green Titan out of his thoughts. He looked around to find a pair of violet eyes staring straight at him.

"Uh, walking and talking at the same time," he shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. Raven raised an eyebrow at this, but didn't question him. She probably didn't think it was worth the time to ask anyway.

"Yes Beast Boy," she commented, "That does seem like a difficult task for you." Though the sarcasm was obvious, a small hint of humor was heard in her voice. Wait...Raven....trying to be funny?! What was wrong with the world!

"Yeah, you know me," Beast Boy laughed nervously. Raven looked at him strangely, than smirked suddenly and started walking away. Hey, it was probably the closest thing to a smile he'd ever seen on her face before. He grinned like an idiot to himself.

"You coming," Raven's voice floated down the hallway.

"Yeah," he replied, "I'll be right there." He sighed as she walked out of sight. Then he groaned at the thought of trying to find something for her. Christmas was only a few days away and he couldn't think of what to get her. He had already gotten gifts for everyone else, but she was by far the hardest to buy for.

Well, he wanted it to be something nice that subtly gestured at the fact that he liked her. Wait, he liked Raven!

"My head hurts," he groaned out loud, "Too much thinking!"

"That'll do that to ya," Cyborg called out as he appeared in the hallway, "Are you coming or not?" Beast Boy quickly followed after him, half listening to the conversation Cyborg was trying to make. There was a moment of silence, "Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, why," BB asked, looking up with a look of confusion on his face.

"Oh, nothing, just the fact that I just told you that I made an all meat breakfast and all you said was 'ok'," Cyborg stated, "And that you nearly ran into the wall."

"Guess I've been thinking too much lately," BB shrugged.

"You...thinking too much," Cyborg started laughing, "Is that even possible?"

"Hey, I may not be that smart...or think all that much...but I do have a brain," BB told him. He paused, "Did you know that Christmas is only a week away?"

"Yeah, you've only been counting down the days until Christmas since July," Cyborg pointed out.

"Did you know that I haven't gotten anything for Raven yet," BB asked.

"No, I thought you didn't l-" he paused suddenly, "Wait, do you like her?"

"NO," BB called out, "I mean, no." He glanced down at the ground, smiling nervously, "Is it that obvious?"

"Oh yeah" Cyborg replied with a grin, "It's hilarious too. You...the ever optimistic, funny guy, likes Raven, the pessimistic, unemotional goth?"

"Not so loud," BB said hurriedly.

"BB, no one else is here," Cyborg said, "They can't hear anything."

"You sure," Beast Boy asked, eyes darting around quickly. Cyborg nodded, "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Promise," Cyborg replied, "Now, come on before breakfast is over." Beast Boy immediately followed after him, resuming his old habits and complaining that there was no tofu.


	2. Ch 2

Notes: Hey I'm back with the second chapter of the story. Duh! Anyway, as I said before, this is dedicated to my boyfriend. It's part of my Christmas present to him. Oh, and a note to him...I found some things for your costume. We're going as Raven and BB!! Oh, and every day in this story has 2 chapters. So, this story should be around 14 chapters.

"What to get her," Beast Boy muttered to himself as he flipped through a catalogue in his hands, "A Gamestation? New game? Oooooo, a stereo system?" He shook his head harshly, "No Beast Boy, those are things that _you_ want!"

"Having some problems," a voice startled him out of his thoughts. The green titan jumped and looked to his left, where Robin was sitting with a smirk on his face.

"No," Beast Boy answered quickly. He looked to his right suddenly where Cyborg was sitting, an identical smirk on his face as well, "Hey, you said you wouldn't tell anybody!"

"You didn't verify who was an anybody," Cyborg replied with a laugh, "Plus, I decided that you could use all the help you could get."

"Where is she," Beast Boy demanded quietly, glancing between his two teammates.

"In her room, where else," Cyborg told him with a shrug.

"No, Starfire dragged her off to go shopping hours ago," Robin spoke up, "They won't be back for a few more hours...at least with the way Starfire shops." Robin shuddered at the thought of the last time he had tried to go Christmas shopping with the alien.

"Good," Beast Boy let out a sigh of relief, "But what can I possibly get for her? It can't be cute, cuddly or pink."

"And how do you know that she doesn't like that stuff," Robin asked.

"Hello, it's Raven," BB exclaimed, "Everything about her screams dark, mysterious and creepy! Ok, not creepy, but weird. Oh, I don't know anymore!"

"I think this is more than any normal crush," Cyborg pointed out, "You don't usually freak over stuff like this."

Hearing this statement, Beast Boy tried to concentrate on the tinsel and other decorations around the tower. He sighed, remembering when he tried to get Raven to help out.

Flashback

Beast Boy glanced up as Raven entered the room, the usual book in front of her face. He then glanced down at the floor where she was about to step.

"Rae, watch out," he called, forgetting all about the decorations for now. At the sound of his voice, she glanced up quickly, stepping on the ball ornament directly in the path of her feet. He was there in an instant, catching her before she hit the ground. However, due to his clumsiness, he brought them both to the floor seconds later.

"Beast Boy," her muffled voice came from beneath him, "Get off!" He didn't move and seconds later, a wave of energy flung him back into the tree. Bits of tinsel and garland fell from the branches, as well as a few ornaments. She started to walk away.

"Hey Rae," he yelled, in an attempt to get her to stop, "Wanna help me out? Come on, it's fun!"

"I don't do fun," she replied.

"Sure you do," he exclaimed, running over and grabbing her arm quickly, "Come on, give it a chance."

"Beast Boy," she whispered, though he didn't hear the warning behind the words.

"Yeah," he asked, getting closer.

"You're touching me," she said angrily, "Let go!" He did so reluctantly.

"At least help me put the star up," he pleaded. A black aura quickly covered the topper and placed it on top.

"There," Raven stated, "Happy now?" With no protest to stop her, she walked away and out of sight.

"No," he sighed and returned to his work.

Flashback end

"Hello," Cyborg asked, waving a hand in front of the green titan's face. Beast Boy quickly snapped out of his trance.

"What," BB asked, slapping his hand away.

"Robin just suggested that maybe you should get her a book of poetry or something like that," Cyborg explained, "But by that time, you were already zoned out."

"That's not a bad idea," Beast Boy said, "I'm gonna go look right now. Thanks guys!" With that, he ran out of the room.

"He must really want that book," Robin commented, with wide eyes watching where Beast Boy had left.

Shout-Outs:

Eva – It's interesting? Good. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter.

Ninjamonkey – Of course I'll write more. Glad you like it.

Purplerave – I'll update whenever I can.

Newsies2519 – You love BBRae stories! Yeah, so do I! Obviously. Anyway, hope you liked it.

Audi katia – Yeah, glad you like it. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Destruction – Thanks for reviewing!

Press Alt F4 SnowboardBoy – Yeah, I wanted to make it longer, but couldn't think of anything at the time. I just had to write something.

Dannysckr – Yeah, it made me think of Christmas too. Well, duh, I wrote it! Here's your update.

Rhonda – I'm glad that you like it and hope you liked this chapter.


	3. Ch 3

Notes – Hey, sorry it took me so long to update. I'm really busy with school and stuff. The trimester is about to end and the teachers are piling up the work. Senior year is tough. I'll try to update more frequently if possible.

(The Mall)

"Starfire, could you please slow down," Raven asked, trying to keep up with her alien friend, "The mall doesn't close for 5 more hours."

"But friend Raven, look at all the glorious toys and presents," Starfire practically swooned over the bright items all around, "We must buy presents before they are all gone."

"Could you at least..." Raven stopped as Starfire quickly walked ahead, "...slow down." Raven sighed and started walking again. Under any other circumstances the girls would be using their powers to transport themselves. When they were trying to blend in with the crowd however, it wasn't an option.

Raven had thought that she had lost Star when she was pulled into a store she was just passing by. She was surprised for only a second before sighing again, allowing Star to drag her deep into the back of the store.

"What now," Raven asked, not bothering to hide her irritation any longer.

"I thought you might want to look around," Star told her, "Maybe you'll find something to buy for Beast Boy!"

Raven was shocked into silence for a moment before finally speaking, "Why would I want to buy something for him?" The defensiveness in her voice was obvious.

"Is he not the only one you have not bought a gift for yet," Star asked, confusion in her eyes.

"Right," Raven agreed, barely catching herself from stumbling over the word, "I got Cyborg's and Robin's gifts right here." She lifted the one bag she held, "And yours is at the Tower."

"You bought me something," Star asked, excitement in her voice, "Oh thank you friend Raven!"

"But you haven't even seen it yet," Raven told her.

"Correct," Star said, "But I am sure I will love it anyway!" Her eyes grew wide with excitement as she spotted a display nearby, heaped up with colorful stuffed animals, "Look Raven!" In her happiness, Star grabbed Raven and dragged her over.

"No Star, anything but that," Raven said, "It's too bright!" Star didn't hear Raven's pleas and continued walking.

"Aren't they adorable," Star squealed. Raven sighed and hesitantly picked one up. A plush green frog stared at her with unblinking eyes of the same color.

Just like Beast Boy's eyes, Raven thought without realizing what she was doing. Starfire's voice pulled her back into reality. Raven slowly placed the stuffed frog back on the display, wondering where that thought had come from and why.

(The Next Morning – Titan Tower)

Beast Boy groaned as he woke up the next morning. The sun only reminded him that he had one less day to find Raven a present. He had gone down to find that the bookstore was closed so he would have to return again to see what they had. That's what he got for deciding to walk there, forgetting all about his powers and focusing more on the look on Raven's face when she saw the gift. The hard part was getting out of the Tower without being suspicious.

He slowly slid out of bed and changed quickly into jeans and a white t-shirt, a green button-up shirt on top of that. Beast Boy placed a black baseball cap backwards on his head. He at least hoped to blend in a little more so as to not be mobbed by fan girls. He was on an important mission.

Walking into the kitchen, he noted the absence of Raven and felt relief wash over him. He wouldn't have to worry about her finding out anything about it. He immediately turned around to walk out of the Tower.

"Where are you going," a voice asked him. Beast Boy looked to find that Raven was right in front of him, about to enter the kitchen when he was attempting to walk out.

Hurry, think of an excuse, he thought. Wait, why did Raven care where he went anyway? Wasn't his absence a relief for her?

"Well," her voice cut through his thoughts.

"I'm...uh...going to get some more tofu," he told her lamely, "We're out and I need to get some more. Do you need anything while I'm out?"

Raven looked surprised for a second, but the look quickly passed, "No, I don't need anything." She paused, "Thanks anyway." The slightest of smiles crossed over her face, but it vanished quickly.

"Sure, no problem," he said, "I'm...gonna go now." He passed by her hurriedly, so she never noticed the pleased expression on his face caused by the brief smile she gave him.

(The Bookstore)

Beast Boy paused before entering the bookstore. Was he really willing to be seen in a bookstore just to get Raven a present? He got his answer when the door opened in his face and a sign for half-off filled his vision. Yeah, it was worth it.

"Nice people here," he muttered sarcastically. He shook his head suddenly...maybe he was hanging around Raven more than he thought. She was starting to get to him.

He pushed open the door and entered. The bookstore was filled with an eerie quietness, at least to him. Beast Boy stood uncertainly at the front of the store, glancing around, until he spotted a sign that ready 'Poetry'. When he reached the section, he stopped in his tracks. Seeing the tall shelves of books, he knew one thing, he would be here for a while. Sighing, he started to scan the titles.

Shout-Outs:

Eva – I'm glad you liked it. Here's your update!

Newsiesfreak2519 – I guess you'll just have to read and find out. Yeah, I absolutely love Beast Boy, especially in the new episode.

DarkRavenna – Thank you for thinking that I can achieve my dream. It means a lot for me to hear that. All your questions will be answered in the next few chapters.

Mew-xena – You love my costume ideas? Yeah! The funny thing is that both me and my boyfriend suggested it. Thanks for reviewing!

ShadowVixen90 – Glad you like it. Hope it continues to be interesting.

Sophia – Don't worry, it won't be over for a while. I have a lot of stuff to add to it. And yeah, I know! Raven and Beast Boy are the perfect couple. I should know, that's how my relationship is with my boyfriend.

Dannysckr – Sorry it took so long. Thanks for reviewing!

Copy write JR – Well, I'm sorry that you feel the story is boring. Any ideas for improving? If so, I'd like to hear them. I'm not trying to be mean, but please, give me reasons for it being boring. There is always room for improvement in every story.


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: First of all, I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. Life has just gotten in the way. But I have a bit more time to write because school doesn't start again until the 17th. I'll most likely finish this is just a few more chapters. I know this is short, but the chapters will get longer.

This chapter is dedicated to my boyfriend.

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I do own the poem in this chapter however.

Beast Boy glanced through the titles quickly. He had been there for two hours and he wasn't any closer to choosing the right gift for Raven. Many poetry books seemed perfect for her, but none of them felt special enough. She always got books, he reminded himself, that's the only thing anyone really knew what to get her. So, whatever he got her, it had to be different.

"Beast Boy," a voice asked suddenly. He turned quickly to see Raven standing behind him in normal clothes, a confused look on her face, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for a book," Beast Boy replied, as if it was the most obvious thing to see. Raven raised an eyebrow at this and Beast Boy grabbed the book he had been looking at only moments earlier, practically shoving it in her face, "See?"

"I never took you for the Emily Dickinson type," Raven deadpanned. Barely keeping himself from stuttering, Beast Boy placed the book back and grabbed another…by none other than Shel Silverstein, who wrote children's poetry, "Now that one makes sense."

"Wait, what are you doing here," Beast Boy asked after a moment.

Raven looked embarrassed for a split second, "I always buy myself one book around Christmas time. Do you know how many copies of 'Edgar Allen Poe: The Complete Works' that I own?" He shrugged, "Six…one of them being one that I bought for myself. I think you're the only one who hasn't bought me one yet. Of course I never expected you to get within one hundred feet of a bookstore."

"Aren't you proud of me," Beast Boy asked, acting a bit more like himself. Raven raised an eyebrow at this, "I'm going to go now."

Raven waited until he was almost to the door before speaking, "Do you want to know my favorite poem? It's called Thunderstorm." Beast Boy paused as she started to recite it.

The rain beats against my window

Matching the pounding of my heart

It strikes deep into my soul

Threatening to tear me apart

Inside I feel it's terrible beating

The rain…it's crying for me

Tears that stay hidden beneath the surface

Struggling to break free

The thunder roars

Echoing off the walls

Lightning strikes

Eliminating all

Shadows form

Only to disappear in an instant

It seems like they never came

Like a dream that is distant

Hidden against the wall

Trying to see your face in the dark

Feels like the world's about to fall

Missing that familiar spark

I imagine your arms around me

Your comforting words in my ear

Telling me that I can be free

And to have no fear

But your warm embrace

Is just a dream

No matter how much I want to your grace

Or how real it seems

I can imagine your figure beside me

Holding me close

Want to believe in this dream

Never want to let go

It's all in my imagination

As you slowly fade away

I don't move to stop you

Nothing I do can make you remain

"Why that one," he asked after a moment.

"Because it's everything that I can't have," Raven answered, "And it's all in her imagination anyway."

Beast Boy left the bookstore pondering the meaning of the poem Raven had just recited. He knew that she was dark, but why should that stop her from loving someone? If only he could show her that. That would be a worthwhile Christmas gift.

He glanced in all the shop windows as he passed. There had to be something.


	5. Chapter 5

Notes: I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update. This summer has been kind of stressful. Plus, I'm leaving on Saturday for college, so my time has been spent preparing for that. Hopefully, the next few chapters will be longer. However, I felt that it was the best place to stop for my own reasoning.

When Raven returned to the tower, it was just as she left it. It had been quiet in the city lately and maybe that was due to the holiday season, but even if it was, something was still suspicious about the silence inside her own home.

She was mildly surprised when Robin turned down a video game match from Cyborg and even more so when Cyborg agreed that he had better things to do. Beast Boy wasn't anywhere in sight.

Starfire was trying to bake a batch of Christmas cookies but without much luck. She had all but one of the ingredients needed, and was trying to substitute something else into the batter instead. Raven quickly stopped the squirt of mustard from mixing in and pointed out the right ingredient. It was anyone's guess that someone had mistakenly put the sugar in with the glasses.

"Look," Raven started talking suddenly. Starfire stopped only momentarily to measure the ingredients before turning her attention to her friend, "If I help you bake that, can I tell you a secret?"

"You want to tell me a secret," Starfire asked, the excitement in her voice clear, "What is it friend Raven?"

Raven was about to speak when the main door opened and Beast Boy stepped through, quickening his pace when he saw Raven. Whatever was in the bag he held in his hands was obviously a secret too. Raven watched as he went, not aware at the smirk on her face at his unintentional antics.

"Is this secret about Beast Boy," Starfire asked once he was out of sight, "Have you not bought him a gift yet?"

"Not exactly," Raven replied, "I don't know what to do Star. He's so…different from me. We're complete opposites."

"Robin is also my opposite," Starfire told her, "But I had no problem finding a gift for him. I merely thought of what he might like."

"What did you get him," Raven asked. Starfire glanced around for a minute before turning her attention back to Raven.

"A new punching bag," Star answered quietly, "It has a stand so he can put it in his room. I know that he likes to train in order to relieve stress. I have witnessed him leaving in the middle of the night to go to the training room. I have also bought him a book with various martial art techniques, so he can learn some new material."

"That makes sense," Raven agreed, "I'm sure Robin will love it." The next moment, Star had her in a bone-crushing hug.

"Thank you Raven," she said, "I was worried at first whether or not he would really like it. I figured that Robin could use a practical gift for once instead of video games or another new remote to replace the other ones that he's lost."

"No problem," Raven answered.

Beast Boy immediately got to work clearing out a space once he got to his room. His desk was usually covered in old boxes of food, but it was void of anything in seconds. He pulled out a good amount of paper from a bag that he placed on top. A set of about twenty pens came out next. He just had to think of something to write for her.

Raven had said that she liked poetry, but the one she had recited to him was so depressing. He figured that she would enjoy one that might raise her spirits a bit.

Along with the paper, he pulled out a few books from the bottom of the bag. Titles such as 'How to Write Poetry' and 'Love Poems' were printed on the sides. He almost hesitantly opened one of them and began to read.

Hours later and Beast boy still hadn't left his room. Crumpled papers were strewn around the room, tossed into corners and unsuccessfully into a trashcan that he had discovered. Another pen went sailing into the air as it ran out of ink. Without him even looking, it landed with a clink into the trashcan

"Oh, now it actually makes it," Beast Boy grumbled to himself, "When I'm not even looking, imagine that." He looked back at the paper in front of him, "Too much writing, my brain's going on meltdown."

"Friend Beast Boy," Starfire's voice floated through the door. Beast Boy let out a very unmanly shriek at the disturbance, shoving the papers on his desk into the nearest drawer.

"Yeah Star," he finally uttered out, "What do you need?"

"Are you going to join us for dinner," she asked, "You have been in your room all afternoon. I am sure that you are hungry."

Now that Beast Boy actually concentrated on something other than pen and paper, he realized that she was right. A glance to the clock revealed it to be nearing seven o'clock. He'd been holed up in his room for nearly six hours!

"Be right down Star," he told her, only moving once he was certain that she had left. His floor was literally a sea of crumpled papers. He didn't bother trying to hide it at that moment, not wanting to keep anybody else waiting.

It wasn't until after dinner that the great idea hit him. Beast Boy watched intently as Raven left the dining area, eyes widening as a memory came to him.

_You think you're alone, Raven, but you're not._

As much as he and Raven were different, they did share a bond of sorts. They were opposites, but they understood what the other was going through. What could be a better idea for a poem?

Cyborg and Robin were back to their normal selves by this time and showed surprise when Beast Boy passed up a chance to play a video game. He barely glanced at them as he raced to his room.

"What was that about," Cyborg asked, appearing in the doorway before it could close. Robin was right behind him.

"And what is this mess," Robin continued, eyes wide at the sight of papers strewn about. He picked one of papers and was starting to flatten it out when Beast Boy swatted it from his hand.

"Oh, is it for Raven," Cyborg teased, "You writing her a love poem?" He made a dramatic gesture with his hands, "Oh Raven, how I love thee…" The two boys broke into laughter.

"Friends, what is going on here," Starfire flew over as she spoke, "What do you find so amusing?"

Robin choked back a laugh, "Nothing Starfire. We're just talking."

"Then why are there papers of the writing on the floor," Starfire questioned, "Is there some kind of battle going on?" She peeked around the door curiously.

"It's nothing like that," Beast Boy told her, "Now if you'll excuse me…" He closed the door in their faces.

"Both Beast Boy and Raven are acting strange," Starfire commented to herself as she walked away, "I wonder…"


	6. Chapter 6

Notes: Wow, I can't believe that I'm updating again already. Well, I had some free time since classes have started, but we're not quite to the homework part yet. I'm hoping that this can last for a few more chapters, but I'll just have to see.

This is a bit longer than the last chapter, but I wanted the make the next chapter center around Beast Boy, so I had to end it where I did. However, I plan to be updating a lot more, at least until all the homework starts up.

All was quiet throughout the tower that night. Usually it could be broken by the sound of laughter coming from within Beast Boy's room. Often it was because of a so-called marvelous prank that he had come up with and wanted to attempt that night or next morning.

The faint sounds of pen scratching on paper could be heard from beyond his door, but it was evident that no other sound could break the still silence. That is until a shadowed figure moved before his doorway, their feet barely brushing the ground as they hovered in the air.

A gentle yet thoughtful hmm-ing could be heard as the figure paused and then set their feet on the floor. A warm ear pressed against the cold metal, listening for any signs of life.

"This has to be perfect," Beast Boy muttered to himself, "I want Raven to like this. Argh! Why won't this stupid poem rhyme?"

Starfire quietly giggled upon hearing this, but the sound was not to be lost to Beast Boy's ears. By the time he reached the door, she was gone, a small smile on her face. She had the vaguest idea about what his secret was. That was all she needed.

"Raven," Starfire whispered the name, knocking gently at her door.

When Raven appeared, half silhouetted against the dark, she didn't appear the slightest bit angry. It was obvious from the calm expression on her face that she had been meditating, nighttime being the best opportunity for the most peace and quiet. The door opened wider and Starfire slipped inside, the moon's glow the only light to give away her presence.

"What's going on Star," Raven asked the alien, "It's passed midnight."

"I could not sleep," Starfire lied, barely keeping the grin off her face, "I know that you are often up late and hoped that I could keep you company."

"Don't you mean that you hoped _I_ would keep _you_ company," Raven asked, "I wasn't lonely Star."

"I did not mean it like that," Starfire protested, "I merely knew that you would be awake this late. You are also the only other girl besides me. I am sorry if my intentions were unclear."

"Don't worry about it," Raven told her. She paused for a few moments, as if wanting to speak again, "What did you want to ask me Starfire? Why else would you be here after midnight?" She spoke the last part before Starfire could respond.

"We never got to finish our conversation," Starfire replied slowly, "It is just us girls, so nobody else will hear. What did you want to tell me? What is your secret?"

Raven's eyes widened at these words. Secretly, she had hoped that Starfire would just forget all about their earlier conversation. This was still a matter she somewhat hoped to resolve in her own time.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Raven said, "I guess I sort of hoped you had forgotten about it. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit my secret."

"It is about Beast Boy," Star squealed, "How marvelous! You have both been shot by the arrows of Cupid, correct?"

"NO," Raven shouted, destroying a book on her shelf, luckily one of the Edgar Allen Poe ones. She sighed, grateful that nothing of value had been lost, "I mean, I don't think it's love. I may like him, yes, but love…I don't think I'm capable."

"Surely you are," Starfire told her, "Love is not as complex a feeling as you think."

"How would you know," Raven asked, though masking her slight surprise at Starfire's moment of wisdom.

"Because if I can love, you can love," Starfire announced, "And I know that I do indeed…love Robin. And you know of my background Raven…"

"And you know of mine," Raven interrupted her, "I've been cut off from emotions. I don't think I've ever felt love towards me….not for many years at least."

(Beast Boy's Room…the next morning)

"Yo BB! You coming down for breakfast," Cyborg called out, passing by his friend's door. When no answer came from within, he approached the door and it slowly slid open. Cyborg was almost forced away by a gigantic wave of papers flowing through the doorway.

Beyond the mess wasn't Beast Boy though, at least not how Cyborg expected to find him. Beast Boy was still seated at his desk, head smack on the top of even more of the crumbled mass. He snored softly, drooling as he did so. It would have been comical if not for the pen still gripped in his hand, halfway through writing a word. Cyborg stared in amazement.

"All of this for her?" He thought to himself, "He must really love her." Cyborg picked one of the sheets off the floor. Only one phrase was written, 'You think you're alone, but you're not.' He carefully hid it in his hand.

"BB? Get up," Cyborg suddenly spoke, poking Beast Boy in the side. The green Titan opened his eyes slowly, "Get some real sleep."

Beast Boy didn't protest, but wearily got to his feet, collapsing the second he reached the bed. He was snoring again in seconds. Cyborg shook his head at the scene before leaving and letting the door close behind him.

When everyone looked at him upon his arrival to the dining area, he knew exactly what to say, "Let him sleep in for once." He turned his eyes to Robin's, "He's had a long night."

"Cyborg, what was that about," Robin asked as the group dispersed after the meal, "Since when do you let Beast Boy sleep in?"

"Look at this," Cyborg told him, tossing him the paper he had picked up earlier, "I think you'll understand."

Robin smoothed it out and read the seven words written in Beast Boy's slightly illegible handwriting. He had clearly discovered the same thing that Cyborg had realized earlier.

"Let's not mention this to Beast Boy," Robin stated, "About reading this that is. We clearly weren't meant to."

"So, we just treat Beast Boy the same," Cyborg asked. Robin nodded, "Then I'm your guy."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or The Lion King (short mention).

Notes: This chapter is going to be a bit different from what I originally intended. Instead of it focusing on Beast Boy, it's devoted almost entirely to Raven. I'll get more into the Beast Boy situation the next chapter.

Raven walked slowly passed Beast Boy's door, worriedly eyeing his name etched into the front. It wasn't like him to skip a meal, especially breakfast. He would do anything in his ability to force tofu on anybody who came within arms reach. However, it was probably because his tofu could pass for real breakfast food. Somebody could easily by tricked, specifically when his or her guard was low.

As soon as her worried thoughts rested, more came pouring in, but not about Beast Boy's health. She had been thinking about a present for the green Titan, but nothing had yet come to mind. She knew very well what Beast Boy loved, but didn't want to get him something that one of the others would most likely have already bought. And what better way to find out than to ask?

Raven easily found the other three seated in the living room where Cyborg and Robin battled it out on a fighting game. Stafire was watching with amazement, cheering on Robin, but ignoring the glare that Cyborg sent her way.

"Uh…go Cyborg," Raven spoke up.

"Yeah, that's right. I knew I had a fan," Cyborg grinned, "Wait. Raven?" All the action stopped, but not before Cyborg got another kick in contact with his opponent. They all turned to look at her. Raven looked like she wanted to hide…or blush…or maybe even both.

"If you don't mind me asking," she started hesitantly, "What did you get for Beast Boy?"

"You haven't gotten him anything yet," Cyborg asked, then suddenly looked suspicious, "Since when have you ever bought him a present, especially for Christmas?"

"There is a first time for everything, correct," Starfire interrupted. The boys slowly nodded, "I have bought friend Beast Boy a CD of the music group of The Lion King. It is one of his favorite films."

"I got him the newest edition of the Mutant Zombies from Outer Space," Cyborg said, "It's just one more game that I can beat him on."

"And I got him the entire first season of Clash of the Planets on DVD," Robin told her.

"As if Beast Boy didn't watch enough television," Raven muttered, "Well, at least now I'll know what not to get him."

"Friend Raven," Starfire called, following after her friend only when she had disappeared into the hallway, "What shall you buy for him? The day of Christmas is not very far away."

"I don't know Star," Raven replied, "Do you have any ideas?"

"Well, what makes you think about Beast Boy," Starfire questioned.

"Unfunny jokes," she answered, "Stupid movies and bad taste in music."

"Then work with that," Starfire told her with a bright smile on her face before flying away. Raven blinked in her confusion, pondering the meaning of what Starfire had just said…if it had any meaning at all.

When Beast Boy opened his eyes for the second time, they immediately traveled to the clock that had tumbled to the floor days ago. Upon seeing the time as three o'clock in the afternoon, his eyes opened wide and he jumped off the bunk.

"Yo BB, you up yet," Cyborg's voice startled him even further.

"Yeah, I'm up," Beast Boy told him.

"Look, I know you've been working for a while on this whole 'thing' for Raven, but would you mind taking a few hours and just vegging in front of the TV?"

Looking down and noticing that his hand was still in the writing position and wouldn't budge no matter how hard he shook it, Beast Boy agreed to this idea. Besides, it looked like video games were out of the question. He would go down without a fight. It was time for him to take a break anyway. Maybe it would do him some good.

Raven tried her best to meditate, hoping that it would clear her mind enough for an idea to come to her. But it seemed like even her emotions could agree on a thing.

Happy was going on about some kind of fluffy stuffed animal. Timid was opting that they not get Beast Boy anything, or at least some kind of DVD or CD that he would expect as a gift. Rage just wanted to sock him in the mouth and Brave was suggesting some kind of unexpected gift. The only ideas that Gross had were some kind of prank items and Intelligence only had books on her 'mind'.

"What's wrong with all of you," a different emotion had interrupted their bickering, "You heard what Starfire said. Why not go with it?"

"I didn't even understand what Starfire said," Happy protested.

Reason sighed, not expecting any less of the pink replica. She walked towards the group, her silver cloak flowing with her motion, "It makes perfect sense. Beast Boy likes jokes, movies, and music. You just have to pick apart what she said. I'm just surprised that Intelligence didn't understand it. It's very simple."

"She's always in her own little world," Rage pointed out, "Always reading books and studying things."

Raven herself sighed as well. That's exactly what Intelligence was for, helping to remember things and get them to stay organized in her mind. Rage was just upset because she was rarely expressed anymore, unless by some form of freak accident.

"I might have an idea," Raven announced suddenly after a moment of thought.

"We know," all the emotions spoke at once with a smile, except for Rage of course. Raven shook her head, ashamed at forgetting that they were part of her mind for that split second.

"Well, go get it," Brave commanded her. Raven looked at her emotion in shock for a split second, then disappeared from their world.

"Starfire," Raven called into the living room. The alien was immediately by her side, "I think I might have something." She only paused upon looking passed Starfire and seeing Beast Boy slouched on the couch, "Make sure he doesn't know I'm gone."

Despite Raven seeming unlike herself, Starfire nodded, glancing back at him. Her uncertain look turned into a grin as she rejoined the group. Raven left by the front door as discreetly as possible, only a quiet 'snick' announcing her departure. Beast Boy never noticed a thing.

As Raven walked into the bookstore for the second time in only two days, she felt a bit out of place. The people who worked her knew her well enough to know that she rarely came but once a year or so. Two consecutive days immediately sent off a warning signal in the minds of the employees. Raven automatically wished that she had taken the chance to change her clothes before leaving, but in her hurry, she had completely forgotten. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.

No, she scolded herself, you have to do this. It's the only idea you have. You need to go with it.

Hesitantly, she approached the section she needed, the sign proclaiming 'Jokes' above it. But she wasn't looking for any ordinary joke book, but one she especially knew that Beast Boy would love. She searched through the titles, hoping that one would catch her eye.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. I only own the poem that's partially featured in this chapter which is titled "Not Alone".

Notes: As you can probably tell, this story is slowly drawing to a close. It'll probably be over in just a few chapters. I'm really glad that I returned to finish this, though I know it's far from the Christmas season. Oh, and I counted up the days until Christmas in this story…it's about 3 or 4 days away, though I'll eventually just skip ahead.

Having slept so much the following day, Beast Boy had a hard time falling asleep that night. He had only been awake for about ten hours and one o'clock in the morning was slowly approaching. He had tried to sleep for about two hours now, but luck had evaded him. So here he was, wide-awake, and purple ravens flew over the towers in his mind. He shook his head, wondering where the usual sheep had run off to. The sheep's gentle bleating could usually lull him to sleep, but the ravens were crying harshly, as if reminding him of the task at hand.

He returned to his desk, but could find no inspiration, only now noticing the dull tofu pizza smell in the air. His window looked out over the city, but no moon could be seen within the night's depths. It rarely was seen on his part of the tower. However, he knew the perfect place to find it.

Beast Boy gathered his things…pen, paper and a clipboard for a hard writing surface. Having his supplies in hand, he slipped out of his room, mindful that he had to be silent.

The green Titan came to realize that he was not alone once he stepped into the living area. A single figure was silhouetted against the single large window in the room. He stepped back quickly.

Raven sat Indian-style, arms outstretched to her sides. Her body was levitated off the floor, a sure sign that she was meditating and not wanting to be bothered.

Beast Boy glanced around the corner, watching Raven in her relaxed state. One would think that the pale moonlight would make her appear paler, but it only cast a soft glow on her skin, giving off a white angel-like appearance, quite the opposite of Raven's true form. She was in her element and Beast Boy didn't think she had ever looked so beautiful.

"You can come in Beast Boy," the dark girl suddenly spoke, not even opening an eye.

"You're not going to kill me," he asked cautiously.

"You were trying to respect my privacy," she stated, "I'll respect yours. You won't bother me. Just stay quiet."

Beast Boy entered slowly and sat on the couch, pulling his materials out in front of him. One hand stayed on the back of the clipboard, as if scared that Raven had some kind of X-ray vision and could read what was going to be written. But she had returned to her meditation, not giving his presence a single thought.

His pen scraped softly on the paper as he discreetly looked at her from the corner of his eye. She had no idea that she was the subject of the poem to be written. Her words of strength rang out gently, the only sound to be heard in the night. It gave Beast Boy an idea and he went with it, hoping that the words looked just as good on paper as they sounded in his head.

_I see you stare out the window_

_I see you meditate in its light_

_I see you close your eyes in tranquility_

_I see you whisper words of strength_

_You think you're alone, but you're not_

It took Beast Boy a second to realize that the words didn't rhyme, but for the first time, he truly didn't care. It was how he felt and there was no changing that.

When the sun came up the next morning, Beast Boy was sleeping quite comfortably on the couch. How he was though was a mystery to him. He must have drifted off while writing, the pen slipping from his fingers and onto the floor. He noted with relief that the clipboard was held against his chest and nobody else could read the forbidden words. A few moments later, sounding footfalls quickly caught his attention.

"You're still out here," Raven asked, quirking an eyebrow in slight surprise.

"Yeah, about that," Beast Boy commented, "How did I end up like this?" He gestured to a blanket that had been draped over him and the pillow sitting behind his head.

"Uhhh…" Raven blushed lightly, "You had fallen asleep before I finished my meditation. I didn't want to disturb you. I didn't read what you wrote." She added this last part quickly. Part of her already knew that it was a secret of some sort. Besides, she liked to write herself, she could understand the level of privacy needed.

"The others up yet," Beast Boy asked, changing the subject, much to Raven's relief. She shook her head, hair swaying gently with her motions.

"Do you want some herbal tea," she questioned, "I promise, it's not that bad." Beast Boy shrugged, but after a moment proceeded to nod his head in reply. He was willing to try something new, especially if it was Raven asking, "It's almost ready. I'll be back in a minute."

Beast Boy realized the second that she disappeared into the kitchen that he and Raven had just had a pleasant conversation. She hadn't gotten angry, growled, or otherwise unleashed her fury upon him. A cheesy grin spread across his face at the thought.

"You know, if you keep smiling like that, it's going to get stuck that way," Raven commented with a straight face as she returned, holding two steaming cups, "Quite frankly, it would scare me." The grin slowly slipped away as he took the cup offered to him.

Raven sat down on the couch next to him, hand protectively over her own cup. She sipped her drink slowly and Beast Boy soon followed her example. His face contorted just a bit as he drank the somewhat bitter liquid, the heat slowly going down his throat. Despite those displeasures, it wasn't half-bad.

"Did you buy him a gift yet," a curious Starfire questioned later that day, hovering over Raven, "You came back quite late last night."

"Well, the bookstore employees kept it open late for me," Raven responded, "A special privilege of being an honorary member." Seeing the confused look that alien was giving her, Raven continued, "It basically means because I'm a Titan…therefore a sort of…celebrity or something. I don't go there often, but I know a few of the employees by name."

"How exhilarating," Star exclaimed, "but you still have not answered my question."

"Yes, I got him something," Raven sighed, "I just hopes that he likes it."

"Why would he not," Star asked, "Beast Boy likes you and you like him, correct?"

"He likes me," Raven questioned, a bit stunned, "but how do you know this?"  
"Just some clues that I have picked up on," Star replied, proud of being able to keep her secret, "I am sure he will love it Raven. It is from you, is it not?"

As Starfire flew away, Raven found that the words were comforting in a way. Maybe Starfire was right. Maybe Beast Boy would like it. Raven could only hope she was right.


	9. Chapter 9

Notes: No! There's only going to be about one or two chapters left after this one. As much as I hate for it to end, I know that it must.

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or anything by Charles Schulz. I do however, actually own a copy of the book mentioned in this chapter. It was a gift to me, so I figured that it was appropriate. I also don't own The Nightmare Before Christmas or any other Christmas movie.

Christmas Eve 

"What is that thing on your head," were the first words spoken to Beast Boy as he joined the others at the breakfast table. Cyborg was the person in question, pointing his large finger at the object.

Beast Boy grinned, flicking his fingers at the bell that had been sown to the tip of the elf-like hat. It sounded out gently every time the changeling moved, but he failed to look embarrassed by it, "It's my Christmas hat. Jealous? You know you like it."

"Christmas isn't even until tomorrow," Cyborg groaned, "And I would never be caught dead wearing that."

"Your loss," Beast Boy replied with a grin. It was official: he had caught a bad case of the Christmas bug…the one that only occurred the day before, thrown into the hype of the upcoming day.

Starfire was the only one who seemed impressed with the strange hat. She hovered over his head, delighting in every time it sounded, "It is wonderful Beast Boy. What a way to spread the joyous spirit of the day of Christmas."

"To be honest," Raven spoke up, a rare occasion in the morning, "I think it would better suit Robin. The bright green matches his uniform."

Robin turned to her, flabbergasted, mouth moving but forming no words. He finally found the will to speak, "But Beast Boy has the ears…" It was a weak argument, but caused everybody to burst out laughing.

The lid of the kettle shot into the air and Raven stood suddenly, "Tea's ready." She walked over, poured herself a cup and left, headed back to her room.

Raven sighed as the door shut behind her. Her eyes darted around the room, closing once she saw that she was completely alone. Her hand reached out, setting the cup on a nearby shelf.

Why had she spoken up like that? Yes, it had been a true statement, but voicing it was completely different than thinking it. She supposed that Beast Boy had been rubbing off on her, but something told her that he wasn't, not to that extent at least.

Still, something inside her had wanted to defend Beast Boy. It wasn't that she didn't find the hat a bit ridiculous, though kind of adorable in it's own way. She couldn't believe that she was using that word to describe it, but it was true. The bright grin, happy disposition and pointy ears had made Beast Boy appear to be quite the adorable elf.

As quickly as they had come, Raven shook the thoughts out of her head. She raised a hand and her closet door opened. Four items came floating out, landing at her feet, ready to be wrapped. Those items came next, hidden under her bed.

Most of her gift ideas were good choices. Cyborg's was an extra controller for the GameStation…she had been there to witness when he had broken the fourth one by accident, getting way too into the game. With a bit of reorganization, nobody else had noticed, but she knew that it might happen again.

Robin's had been somewhat difficult, but only because she had made it herself. Though he would never openly admit it, he found history to be exciting, specifically when it came to the team. Unknowingly, Raven had been saving up any newspaper articles dealing with their adventures. She found a large photo album and placed them inside by date, giving brief descriptions if the newspaper failed to do so.

Starfire was to receive a book that Raven had picked up a few weeks ago. It was a by a famous cartoonist named Charles Schulz. The story itself was called 'Happiness is a Warm Puppy'. Raven knew just by the title that Starfire would love it. Besides, it spoke of a simple joy, much like what Starfire had.

All of the gifts were wrapped in that person's signature color. Raven hesitantly placed a pink bow on Starfire's present, which was wrapped in purple.

She saved Beast Boy's gift for last, wondering whether or not to put it under the tree. Raven contemplated giving it to him privately, but eventually decided against it. She wrote a short note on the back of the cover. The book she had picked up was wrapped with the greatest care in green paper.

The only names written were the recipient's own. It was a tradition in the Tower that they would try to guess who got everybody what gift. That was why certain colors of wrapping paper were used as well. It made the gifts a little less embarrassing to give, unless the person guessed correctly. On the issue of Beast Boy's gift though, you had to guess before you flipped through the book. Only his eyes would see the name on the inside.

On the opposite side of the wall, Beast Boy had just finished wrapping his gifts as well, except of course, for one. Raven's gift was not quite completed yet. He had decided this once he had finished not one, but two poems. His original idea had been some sort of book of poetry, but now his mind was going in a different direction. He had to make just one more stop and he'd have everything he needed. Most stores were closing early for the night and he had to hurry. One more trip to the bookstore ought to do it.

"You guys sure do come in here a lot, don't you," a female voice asked as Beast Boy poured over the shelves quickly. The girl who worked behind the counter walked up to him, "Is there anything in particular that you're looking for?"

"A journal of some kind," Beast Boy replied, "Maybe with a lock on it."

"You mean like a diary," the girl laughed.

"Yes," he exclaimed, before calming down considerably fast, especially for him, "It's for a friend." She led him over to a small section on the other side of the store, "I'm thinking it should be a dark color. Blue or black."

"Well, have a look around. Take your time."

Beast Boy was there for about ten more minutes before it caught his eyes. On the very bottom shelf was a medium-sized diary, a dark blue in color. He picked it up and knew that it was the perfect choice. The fabric on front had a velvety feel to it, the word 'Diary' etched into its surface in gold. A small golden latch kept it closed, the keys small, but intricate. The backing and spine were smooth black leather. A small piece of elastic kept a beautiful black pen in place beside the opening to the pages. Beast Boy paid for it and left the bookstore, feeling satisfied with his purchase.

"You know, Raven's usually the one to stay inside her room all day, not you," Cyborg commented hours later, "It's just weird, okay?"

Beast Boy turned his head to glare at his friend, who involuntarily took a step back.

"You've been spending way too much time on this Raven stuff," Cyborg told him, "You're starting to scare me a bit."

Beast Boy's eyes softened at this and he sighed, "Sorry dude. It's just that I'm almost done and everyone keeps interrupting me. If I mess it up, I can't fix it."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," Cyborg stated, but the green Titan cut him off.

"No, I'm writing something in this," he only acknowledged the object without showing it, "If I don't do it perfect, I'd have to tear it out. I can't afford to do that."

"Okay. I'll leave you alone," Cyborg said, "but at least come join us for our movie marathon. You know how much Raven loves 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. And of course we're also watching 'The Grinch' and 'Rudolph'."

"Is Starfire still scared of the Oogie Boogie," Beast Boy asked.

"Nah, we finally convinced her that it was really just a movie," Cyborg replied, "but even if we hadn't, we have to do something to make Raven come out of her room on Christmas Eve. She'd stay in there all night if we let her."

Shortly after Beast Boy finished, he joined the rest of the group in the living area. They were already there, about to start Raven's movie. Glancing over at her, Beast Boy noted the lack of a book in her hands, her eyes turned towards the television screen. In fact, completely unlike her, Raven was leaning back on the couch in a half-slouched position. For these few moments, she was letting her guard down.

Aside from Starfire gasping when the Oogie Boogie came into view, the movie marathon went off without a problem. However, everyone was surprised when Raven stayed for Rudolph. It was common knowledge that she wasn't fond of it, finding it too cheesy and simple for her tastes. Nobody said a word about it though, just glad that she decided that their company was better than staying in her room all night.

After the movies they headed off to bed and began to plan for the next phase of Christmas.


	10. Finale

Notes: Ahh! Last chapter! Well, actually, I am planning on having an epilogue to this, but it's the official end to this part of the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I only own the poem of "Not Alone". It is the full version. The other poem, "Sweet Raven" , belongs to reallyravenroth.

The next Titans Christmas tradition was about to take place. Raven didn't make a sound, only listened as the quiet swish of a door opening echoed softly in the hallway. Someone had started the competition.

Well, it wasn't a competition in the usual sense. Robin had made it a rule that nobody could have even a clue as to who gave what gift. Therefore, one at a time, they would leave their rooms and deposit their presents under the tree. There was no certain order. The only rule was that they couldn't leave if they heard another door opening. If they lasted until four doors were opened, they were the last and would be the one to check to make sure all the gifts were in the correct place. At least one of them was known for trying to open their presents early. It was anyone's guess who that was.

_Swish…Swish_…Somebody else left the second that the other returned. Probably Starfire, Raven reasoned. The alien was too excited about the holiday to wait, but she never went first, trying to control her excited giggling.

Two more doors opened and closed. Then Raven knew that it was her turn. She gathered the gifts in her hands and walked out into the living area where the tree was. Her eyes scanned over the presents, counting them quickly. Sixteen…perfect. She arranged her four boxes around the base, then retreated to her room. Though she tried to ignore it, she had to admit that maybe, she was looking forward to the coming day…just a little bit.

The morning came all too soon for Raven. Part of her had been nervous all night, wondering what a certain Titan would think of her gift. She considered disappearing the second he opened the cover, but decided against it immediately. It would be too suspicious. Plus, part of her was curious to see if he would appreciate the gesture.

Most everyone was in the main room when she arrived. However, Robin wasn't in the present group. He emerged from the hallway shortly, wordlessly announcing the beginning of opening presents. Everyone gathered their boxes from beneath the tree, bringing them to their sides.

Four red boxes went to Robin, blue for Cyborg, green for Beast Boy and purple for Starfire. As for Raven, hers were covered in patterns. It was an idea that Beast Boy had come up with, considering that Cyborg's or even Starfire's signature color was much like her own. So everyone had fun finding the gift-wrap which would most sicken Raven. Puppies with Santa hats looked at her from one box, smiling snowmen on another, and dancing polar bears on yet another. The fourth was different. The wrapping was silver in color, white swirls decorating the surface. It was actually quite beautiful in her opinion, but it made her wonder whom it was from.

"All right, who's going to start," Robin asked everyone. Three hands shot into the air, "Starfire, you can only raise one." He gave her a stern look, but there was warmth underneath it. The alien put one hand down, "Alright Star, you can go first."

"No way," Beast Boy protested, "She cheated! You saw her." Beast Boy imitated Starfire, thrusting both hands into the air, "I should have gone first."

"Yeah, but Robin doesn't have a soft spot for you," Cyborg told him, not watching the volume of his words.

Every eye shot to Robin, who blushed involuntarily, "Yeah…well…you've got…nothing…"

"That was weak Robin," Raven deadpanned, "At least try to be a little creative."

"Yeah, like how Raven tells everyone how she'll blast them into another dimension," Cyborg agreed.

"I'm not exactly lying when I say that you know," Raven replied. The others stared at her, "But that's beyond the point. Robin chose Starfire to go first and she will."

"Thank you Raven," Starfire grinned widely, "Now, which of the gifts shall I open first?"

"The…purple one," Raven stated slowly.

"Wonderful idea," Starfire replied, "but which one?" Raven pointed to the one closest to her and Star picked it up hurriedly.

It was wrapped poorly, though it was obvious that it was material of some kind. Starfire opened it and squealed in delight. She pulled out a red Santa hat made of a velvety material with cotton around the edges. She excitedly placed it on her head and turned to the others, "Do I have the look?"

"I think she means 'how do I look'," Raven translated. Everybody gave approving nods, except for Robin, who was staring with an open mouth.

"Tell her already," Cyborg prompted, snapping Robin out of his trance.

"Uh…you look nice Star," Robin stuttered out.

Starfire grinned happily before sitting down, "I believe this gift is from friend Beast Boy. I remember you wearing similar headgear yesterday. Am I correct?" The green Titan in question confirmed this, bracing himself for the bone-crushing hug sure to follow.

Robin was next, since he was sitting to Starfire's left. He picked up Raven's gift and though the newspaper articles had him confused as to who it could be, he eventually caught on. He flipped through it carefully before guessing correctly. Raven only nodded at his response. And so it went, Cyborg, Beast Boy and Raven, in that order.

Cyborg received a boom-box from Beast Boy, something that he had been wanting for a while, if only he didn't use most of his money for repairs to the T-Car. Upon getting the controller though, he only glanced nervously over at Raven, who gestured slightly so nobody else would notice. Nonetheless, he looked grateful. Starfire's present consisted of a gift card to a nearby electronics store that Cyborg loved. And last of all, a collection of CDs from Robin, who knew how much Cyborg complained that there was no cool music to play in the T-Car.

The rest of Starfire's gifts included a book for writing her recipes in. Though she could not decide whether it was from Robin or Raven, she ended up settling on the leader. Unknown to her, only he would be able to handle her cooking enough to give her a book to log all her favorite recipes into. She was delighted with a spice rack (spices included) from Cyborg, though Beast Boy protested that they were mainly for meat products, glaring at his friend in disgust.

Raven's present of the book confused her the most though, as it did not seem to fit Raven's personality. She hugged her friend thankfully however upon reading the inscription inside saying, 'You have a greater joy than anyone I know does. May this book remind you of that and help you hold onto it. RAVEN'. Raven tried to resist, but relented, knowing that she wasn't going to get out of it.

Robin received sunglasses from Beast Boy, claiming that he'd not only look cooler, but get more fan-girls as well. Though when he was asked to put them on, he unashamedly placed them over his mask. Only Starfire looked truly upset by this.

The punching bag is what threw him off at first. It seemed like something that Cyborg would buy, but it wasn't like his usual gifts. The books that came with it was what made his decision, though it wasn't until he opened the next present that he was sure. A single envelope held this one. Inside was a solitary slip of paper, good for a year's worth of hair gel. The only thing was…it wasn't a prank. It would actually get him what it said. He glared in pretend anger, but he secretly gave Cyborg a thumbs-up.

Beast Boy was excited about all his presents. Though it was hard to tell who got him what. Well, the video game was definitely from Cyborg, as the two were on the GameStation the most. Eventually he came up with who got him the other gifts, as Robin was more serious and would go for the dramatic, albeit cheesy, television show. Starfire had a fun personality, therefore the musical soundtrack fit her style.

He was puzzled by Raven's gift. The book was called 'The Finer Art of Sarcasm: Joke Book for the Sarcastically Challenged'. Once he knew who it was from though (obviously because of the title), he opened it, noticing the back of the cover. He grinned upon reading it.

'Beast Boy,

I know you've worked hard to try and make me laugh. I also know that you haven't had the best of luck. Therefore, I thought you might appreciate a little help. At least I happen to think it's funny.

Raven'

Maybe she does like me, Beast Boy thought, reading over it a second time. Though it was not told in a funny matter, there was a hint of warmth in the words. He only hoped that he wasn't just imagining things.

Raven was actually in for quite a surprise this Christmas. Not a single Edgar Allan Poe book was to be seen. Starfire was the obvious choice for the herbal tea packets, as none of the boys would willingly go to a tea shop. There were several different varieties that she could try, including her usual. The Chinese meditation balls were actually an item that she had been searching for, so the fact that Cyborg was able to find them was a miracle in itself. They were black, each one with a symbol in white, one a sun, and the other a moon. The book of Yoga was no doubt from Robin, due to the fact that he understood needing to calm her anger and the techniques to do it with.

She picked up the nicely wrapped gift last, almost afraid to unwrap what was inside, especially when she considered whom it was from. Her eyes fell on Beast Boy and he nervously met them with a weak grin.

Her violet eyes widened upon seeing the journal, surprised at the beautiful gift. She slowly placed the key in the lock and opened it. The words jumped out at her from the page.

_I see you stare out the window_

_I see you meditate in its light_

_I see you close your eyes in tranquility_

_I see you whisper words of strength_

_You think you're alone, but you're not_

_I've been through it too_

_I know how it is to feel pain_

_To feel like the world's falling apart_

_Like how your heart slowly breaks_

_When love doesn't conquer all_

_I've seen you give it your all_

_I've seen you face your fears_

_I've seen you fight against dragons_

_I've seen you rise above the ashes_

_You think you're alone, but you're not_

_Hearts can break overnight_

_But they need more than love to heal_

_They need a helping hand_

_To once again learn how to feel_

_And mend its broken pieces_

_I'll be your strength_

_I'll be your love_

_I'll be your hope_

_I'll be your shoulder to cry on_

_When it seems like nobody's listening_

_You think you're alone, Raven, but you're not_

_You're never alone_

_Because I'm standing beside you_

Raven almost didn't believe that Beast Boy had written what she had just read. But it was done in his usual sloppy penmanship, though it was obvious that he had tried to clean it up a bit so she could decipher the text.

"Beast Boy," she asked hesitantly. She looked up from the words, startled to note that they were the only two people in the room.

"Read the next one," he told her quietly. The tone of his voice told her that he was serious. She gazed at him for a moment longer, than directed her eyes back down, turning the page.

_Raven, sweet Raven_

_Drowning in the night_

_Even though you are dying_

_What a beautiful sight_

_And before you take_

_Your last saving breath, hey,_

_I'll bring you into the daytime_

_And give you a kiss to take your breath away_

_You're not alone, my sweet Raven_

_I'll always be by your side_

_Even if you may not want it_

_I'll do what my heart thinks right._

_Love is a funny word_

_Love like 'I do'_

_But now that I think of it_

_Dear sweet Raven, I love you_

"Beast Boy," she repeated herself, "Why did you write these?" She paused, "They're beautiful."

"I had an inspiration," he replied, "I've learned a lot of things in these past couples of days Raven. I never realized that I had feelings for you until now. I always took it that I just wanted to make you laugh, because that's just what I do. But it's not like that."

"Then what is it like," Raven prompted slowly.

"I meant every word that I said," Beast Boy stated, "I do love you Raven. And I'm willing to wait for you if I have to."

"I never knew that somebody could love me," Raven voiced quietly, "The thought of me doesn't usually bring thoughts of flowers and sunshine to the world." She paused, "I need to be alone." With that, she vanished from sight, taking the diary with her.

Even with the commotion, Christmas went on. Beast Boy tried to hide his disappointment by playing his new video game with Cyborg. The half-machine noticed the lack of enthusiasm as Beast Boy lost time after time. He'd usually do anything to win.

However, Cyborg knew what was going on. Everybody did. They were listening from the other room. The team had meant to give the two teammates privacy, but something about the conversation drew them in. They all wanted to know what Raven would say. They had waited a few minutes before coming out. Raven hadn't come out of her room since.

"Hey BB, why don't you see if Raven wants to come join us," Cyborg asked, "We could watch your show."

Beast Boy only looked at his friend, knowing what Cyborg was trying to do. He wanted Beast Boy to confront the issue of Raven. And truthfully, he wished he had the courage to after that morning. He stood and headed for the hallway.

Beast Boy was about to knock on Raven's door when something caught his eye. A piece of paper was taped to his door just a few feet down the hall. He temporarily forgot about what he was there to do.

The note was very simple and he immediately followed its instructions. He left the corridor, leaving the note in place. In small print, it read 'Meet me on the roof. Raven'.

"I was wondering when you'd get the note," Raven commented when he stepped onto the roof.

"We need to talk Rae," he started.

"That's why we're here, isn't it," she asked. She didn't turn to face him, seemingly unfazed by the cool breeze that pushed against her.

"Yeah," he echoed her thoughts, "Listen, I'm sorry if what I said freaked you out. Maybe I shouldn't have come on so strong. You should have heard the words from me before having to read them. I just…didn't know how else to say it."

"I'm not mad," she reassured him, "Or upset for that matter. Just…confused, I guess…I didn't know how to respond. But I've thought it over Beast Boy."

"Rae…"

"I can't deny it any longer," she interrupted, "I do have feelings for you Beast Boy. I just don't know how to show them."

"Come here," he spoke gently. Raven turned to face him, tears evident in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She took careful steps towards him. He stood eye-to-eye with her; she had almost forgotten how much he had grown.

Beast Boy gingerly placed his hands on her shoulders. He leaned over and kissed her softly. He drew away when he got no response.

Raven's eyes were wide as he pulled away. Beast Boy was afraid that he had alarmed her and took a step back.

"Nothing exploded," Raven spoke softly, "The night is still…silent. It's okay Beast Boy. Maybe I was wrong."

"For once," Beast Boy laughed, surprised when Raven responded likewise, "But tell me one more thing. Is there something wrong with this?"

Raven never got to vocally answer the question. Beast Boy shortened the distance between them, catching the answer in her eyes. His hand traveled to the back of her head, deepening the kiss as their lips met once again. This time she returned the motion. And the night was still once again.

They pulled apart slowly. Raven made the first move to speak, drawing a deep breath.

"You know what Beast Boy," she asked, "After all that's happened, I should be confused, panicking…something should be breaking or exploding," She paused to look him in the eye, "I never knew that love was so pure an emotion. And you know what else? I'm not so confused anymore."

END


	11. Alternate Ending

Notes: Okay, here's the alternate ending. You'll notice that the beginning is the same, but the ending is definitely going to be different. I'm sorry it took so long for me to post this, but it took a while for the inspiration to come to me. I may still possibly write an epilogue. I'm still thinking about it. Oh, and if you wouldn't mind...tell me which ending you preferred.

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I only own the poem of "Not Alone". It is the full version. The other poem, Sweet Raven , belongs to reallyravenroth.

The next Titans Christmas tradition was about to take place. Raven didn't make a sound, only listened as the quiet swish of a door opening echoed softly in the hallway. Someone had started the competition.

Well, it wasn't a competition in the usual sense. Robin had made it a rule that nobody could have even a clue as to who gave what gift. Therefore, one at a time, they would leave their rooms and deposit their presents under the tree. There was no certain order. The only rule was that they couldn't leave if they heard another door opening. If they lasted until four doors were opened, they were the last and would be the one to check to make sure all the gifts were in the correct place. At least one of them was known for trying to open their presents early. It was anyone's guess who that was.

_Swish…Swish_…Somebody else left the second that the other returned. Probably Starfire, Raven reasoned. The alien was too excited about the holiday to wait, but she never went first, trying to control her excited giggling.

Two more doors opened and closed. Then Raven knew that it was her turn. She gathered the gifts in her hands and walked out into the living area where the tree was. Her eyes scanned over the presents, counting them quickly. Sixteen…perfect. She arranged her four boxes around the base, then retreated to her room. Though she tried to ignore it, she had to admit that maybe, she was looking forward to the coming day…just a little bit.

The morning came all too soon for Raven. Part of her had been nervous all night, wondering what a certain Titan would think of her gift. She considered disappearing the second he opened the cover, but decided against it immediately. It would be too suspicious. Plus, part of her was curious to see if he would appreciate the gesture.

Most everyone was in the main room when she arrived. However, Robin wasn't in the present group. He emerged from the hallway shortly, wordlessly announcing the beginning of opening presents. Everyone gathered their boxes from beneath the tree, bringing them to their sides.

Four red boxes went to Robin, blue for Cyborg, green for Beast Boy and purple for Starfire. As for Raven, hers were covered in patterns. It was an idea that Beast Boy had come up with, considering that Cyborg's or even Starfire's signature color was much like her own. So everyone had fun finding the gift-wrap which would most sicken Raven. Puppies with Santa hats looked at her from one box, smiling snowmen on another, and dancing polar bears on yet another. The fourth was different. The wrapping was silver in color, white swirls decorating the surface. It was actually quite beautiful in her opinion, but it made her wonder whom it was from.

"All right, who's going to start," Robin asked everyone. Three hands shot into the air, "Starfire, you can only raise one." He gave her a stern look, but there was warmth underneath it. The alien put one hand down, "Alright Star, you can go first."

"No way," Beast Boy protested, "She cheated! You saw her." Beast Boy imitated Starfire, thrusting both hands into the air, "I should have gone first."

"Yeah, but Robin doesn't have a soft spot for you," Cyborg told him, not watching the volume of his words.

Every eye shot to Robin, who blushed involuntarily, "Yeah…well…you've got…nothing…"

"That was weak Robin," Raven deadpanned, "At least try to be a little creative."

"Yeah, like how Raven tells everyone how she'll blast them into another dimension," Cyborg agreed.

"I'm not exactly lying when I say that you know," Raven replied. The others stared at her, "But that's beyond the point. Robin chose Starfire to go first and she will."

"Thank you Raven," Starfire grinned widely, "Now, which of the gifts shall I open first?"

"The…purple one," Raven stated slowly.

"Wonderful idea," Starfire replied, "but which one?" Raven pointed to the one closest to her and Star picked it up hurriedly.

It was wrapped poorly, though it was obvious that it was material of some kind. Starfire opened it and squealed in delight. She pulled out a red Santa hat made of a velvety material with cotton around the edges. She excitedly placed it on her head and turned to the others, "Do I have the look?"

"I think she means 'how do I look'," Raven translated. Everybody gave approving nods, except for Robin, who was staring with an open mouth.

"Tell her already," Cyborg prompted, snapping Robin out of his trance.

"Uh…you look nice Star," Robin stuttered out.

Starfire grinned happily before sitting down, "I believe this gift is from friend Beast Boy. I remember you wearing similar headgear yesterday. Am I correct?" The green Titan in question confirmed this, bracing himself for the bone-crushing hug sure to follow.

Robin was next, since he was sitting to Starfire's left. He picked up Raven's gift and though the newspaper articles had him confused as to who it could be, he eventually caught on. He flipped through it carefully before guessing correctly. Raven only nodded at his response. And so it went, Cyborg, Beast Boy and Raven, in that order.

Cyborg received a boom-box from Beast Boy, something that he had been wanting for a while, if only he didn't use most of his money for repairs to the T-Car. Upon getting the controller though, he only glanced nervously over at Raven, who gestured slightly so nobody else would notice. Nonetheless, he looked grateful. Starfire's present consisted of a gift card to a nearby electronics store that Cyborg loved. And last of all, a collection of CDs from Robin, who knew how much Cyborg complained that there was no cool music to play in the T-Car.

The rest of Starfire's gifts included a book for writing her recipes in. Though she could not decide whether it was from Robin or Raven, she ended up settling on the leader. Unknown to her, only he would be able to handle her cooking enough to give her a book to log all her favorite recipes into. She was delighted with a spice rack (spices included) from Cyborg, though Beast Boy protested that they were mainly for meat products, glaring at his friend in disgust.

Raven's present of the book confused her the most though, as it did not seem to fit Raven's personality. She hugged her friend thankfully however upon reading the inscription inside saying, 'You have a greater joy than anyone I know does. May this book remind you of that and help you hold onto it. RAVEN'. Raven tried to resist, but relented, knowing that she wasn't going to get out of it.

Robin received sunglasses from Beast Boy, claiming that he'd not only look cooler, but get more fan-girls as well. Though when he was asked to put them on, he unashamedly placed them over his mask. Only Starfire looked truly upset by this.

The punching bag is what threw him off at first. It seemed like something that Cyborg would buy, but it wasn't like his usual gifts. The books that came with it was what made his decision, though it wasn't until he opened the next present that he was sure. A single envelope held this one. Inside was a solitary slip of paper, good for a year's worth of hair gel. The only thing was…it wasn't a prank. It would actually get him what it said. He glared in pretend anger, but he secretly gave Cyborg a thumbs-up.

Beast Boy was excited about all his presents. Though it was hard to tell who got him what. Well, the video game was definitely from Cyborg, as the two were on the GameStation the most. Eventually he came up with who got him the other gifts, as Robin was more serious and would go for the dramatic, albeit cheesy, television show. Starfire had a fun personality, therefore the musical soundtrack fit her style.

He was puzzled by Raven's gift. The book was called 'The Finer Art of Sarcasm: Joke Book for the Sarcastically Challenged'. Once he knew who it was from though (obviously because of the title), he opened it, noticing the back of the cover. He grinned upon reading it.

'Beast Boy,

I know you've worked hard to try and make me laugh. I also know that you haven't had the best of luck. Therefore, I thought you might appreciate a little help. At least I happen to think it's funny.

Raven'

Maybe she does like me, Beast Boy thought, reading over it a second time. Though it was not told in a funny matter, there was a hint of warmth in the words. He only hoped that he wasn't just imagining things.

Raven was actually in for quite a surprise this Christmas. Not a single Edgar Allan Poe book was to be seen. Starfire was the obvious choice for the herbal tea packets, as none of the boys would willingly go to a tea shop. There were several different varieties that she could try, including her usual. The Chinese meditation balls were actually an item that she had been searching for, so the fact that Cyborg was able to find them was a miracle in itself. They were black, each one with a symbol in white, one a sun, and the other a moon. The book of Yoga was no doubt from Robin, due to the fact that he understood needing to calm her anger and the techniques to do it with.

She picked up the nicely wrapped gift last, almost afraid to unwrap what was inside, especially when she considered whom it was from. Her eyes fell on Beast Boy and he nervously met them with a weak grin.

Her violet eyes widened upon seeing the journal, surprised at the beautiful gift. She slowly placed the key in the lock and opened it. The words jumped out at her from the page.

_I see you stare out the window_

_I see you meditate in its light_

_I see you close your eyes in tranquility_

_I see you whisper words of strength_

_You think you're alone, but you're not_

_I've been through it too_

_I know how it is to feel pain_

_To feel like the world's falling apart_

_Like how your heart slowly breaks_

_When love doesn't conquer all_

_I've seen you give it your all_

_I've seen you face your fears_

_I've seen you fight against dragons_

_I've seen you rise above the ashes_

_You think you're alone, but you're not_

_Hearts can break overnight_

_But they need more than love to heal_

_They need a helping hand_

_To once again learn how to feel_

_And mend its broken pieces_

_I'll be your strength_

_I'll be your love_

_I'll be your hope_

_I'll be your shoulder to cry on_

_When it seems like nobody's listening_

_You think you're alone, Raven, but you're not_

_You're never alone_

_Because I'm standing beside you_

Raven almost didn't believe that Beast Boy had written what she had just read. But it was done in his usual sloppy penmanship, though it was obvious that he had tried to clean it up a bit so she could decipher the text.

"Beast Boy," she asked hesitantly. She looked up from the words, startled to note that they were the only two people in the room.

"Read the next one," he told her quietly. The tone of his voice told her that he was serious. She gazed at him for a moment longer, than directed her eyes back down, turning the page.

Raven, sweet Raven 

_Drowning in the night_

_Even though you are dying_

_What a beautiful sight_

_And before you take_

_Your last saving breath, hey,_

_I'll bring you into the daytime_

_And give you a kiss to take your breath away_

_You're not alone, my sweet Raven_

_I'll always be by your side_

_Even if you may not want it_

_I'll do what my heart thinks right._

_Love is a funny word_

_Love like 'I do'_

_But now that I think of it_

_Dear sweet Raven, I love you_

"Beast Boy," she repeated herself, "They're beautiful."

"I meant every word that I wrote," Beast Boy stated.

"I never knew that somebody could love me," Raven voiced quietly, "I need to be alone." With that, she vanished from sight, taking the diary with her.

Even with the commotion, Christmas went on. Beast Boy tried to hide his disappointment by playing his new video game with Cyborg. The half-machine noticed the lack of enthusiasm as Beast Boy lost time after time. He'd usually do anything to win.

However, Cyborg knew what was going on. Everybody did. They were listening from the other room. The team had meant to give the two teammates privacy, but something about the conversation drew them in. They all wanted to know what Raven would say. They had waited a few minutes before coming out. Raven hadn't come out of her room since.

(In the hallway)

"Friend Raven," Starfire stood in front of her door, "Please let me in. I must speak with you." Raven gave no answer and Starfire could only stare at the door in anger, "Raven, I will break down this door if I must!" Slowly, the door opened, displaying half of Raven's face and then slowly all of it.

"If you must," Raven stated, "Make it quick. I'm trying to meditate."

"Perhaps I can join you," Starfire commented rather than asked.

"Starfire, if you want to talk to me, you better do it now," Raven told her, "This is the only chance I'm giving you." The use of her full name let Starfire know that she was serious.

"Why did you reject friend Beast Boy," Starfire questioned hurriedly, "Do you not like him any longer?"

"Star," Raven sighed, "I don't know how it is on your planet, but here the words 'I love you' mean a lot. It's a lot deeper than just liking."

"I am aware of that," Starfire answered, "I have not been on Earth for long, but I have learned much. However, you have not answered my question."

"I didn't reject him. I just had no idea how to respond," Raven replied, "I tried to meditate, but my emotions are arguing as usual and I decided to ignore them. I didn't know who to listen to."

"Then do not listen to the emotions in your head Raven," Starfire told her, "Listen to the ones in your heart." She started to turn away, but stopped suddenly, "If you wish to speak with Beast Boy, he is currently losing at the video games in the main room. He has been doing so for the past three hours." Then she left.

Raven stared at the door for a moment before telling her emotions to shut their traps. She blocked out all noise around her and started to listen to the still silence, hoping to sort everything out.

Back in the main room, Cyborg was about to suggest some other activity, partly because he could tell that Beast Boy just wasn't into the game and partly because (and he couldn't believe he was saying this) he was getting tired of winning.

Before Cyborg could speak his thoughts to his green friend, the swish of the door leading into the area sounded and there stood the very person who no doubt was constantly on Beast Boy's mind.

Raven was only slightly hesitant in approaching them. She stood beside the couch and looked down at him, "Beast Boy. We need to talk." Beast Boy stood up and followed her, much like a prisoner on his way to jail.

Raven led him to her room and looked back when she noticed that he wasn't following, "You can come in Beast Boy. I promise I put my meditation mirror away." She gave a small smile at her idea of a joke and he couldn't help but give a chuckle at it himself, "Wow, you haven't even started the book yet and you're getting sarcasm. You're improving."

"Okay, what's with the jokes," Beast Boy asked suddenly, "Sorry Rae, but it's a bit creepy."

"Well, since you're moping around and being moody like me, I figured somebody had to be funny," Raven answered as she sat down on her bed. She motioned for him to do the same, which he did reluctantly.

"What did you want to talk about," he questioned, remembering why they were there in the first place.

"I've been thinking," Raven told him, "Well, not really…in a sense." She sighed, "Long story. However, I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to give us a chance. I do like you Beast Boy, but love is a bit too hard for me to grasp…at least right now."

"So you're saying you'll go on a date with me?"

"Yes Beast Boy," Raven replied.

"Awesome! There's this new movie out that I thought you would love," Beast Boy told her, "It's a thriller, but it's nothing like Wicked Scary so I thought it would fit your tastes better. Plus the theatre just started up this whole vegetarian stuff and I wanted to try it out."

"You've really thought this out haven't you," Raven asked.

"Every detail," Beast Boy replied, moving his hand to place it on top of her own. A split second of pain lit up his face before he quickly pulled his hand away, "What was that?"

"Oh," Raven bowed her head and blushed, "I guess my emotions are still a bit out of control. Sorry about the shock." She lifted her hand, seeing her fingertips sizzling with energy.

"Remind me not to let you grab me if you get scared in the theatre," he commented, to which Raven let out a short laugh.

"Okay, but only if you don't make me try a veggie burger," Raven told him, then paused, "You know, maybe this whole thing will work out after all."

"Why do you say that," Beast Boy asked.

"When this whole thing started, I was just confused. I didn't know how to respond to someone admitting to loving me. Now, I'm making jokes…something I'm not exactly known for."

"Shall we go then," Beast Boy questioned, "We can at least pick a time for tomorrow." Raven nodded. He quickly reached out and took her hand, this time without a shock to accompany the action, "I'll even let you pick the restaurant we go to before the movie."

Raven allowed herself to be dragged out her door by the green Titan. She missed his reaction as her hand tightened in his and his eyes widened in both surprise and delight at the gesture.

Raven was almost surprised at herself for this, but she only smiled as his hand clasped her own a bit firmer for that split second. She didn't really know what she was getting herself into by agreeing to a date, but she decided in that moment that she truly didn't care.

Her emotions were quiet and she quickly found that she wasn't so confused about her feelings anymore. She had taken matters into her own hands and her decision wasn't backfiring on her. Perhaps she should have listened to her heart more often.


End file.
